We all dream of having wings and perhaps the ability to fly,
but when a man’s wings take him to the top of the world
he has no further to go and begins to look down.
He looks down on less trivial things and they begin to appeal
more so than his abilities to build new worlds
as he feels he loses interest in conquering new challenges.
Perhaps this can relate to more than just myself. I frustrate myself as a writer, I’ll be honest with you. Without sounding full of myself I know I have undoubted talent and an ability to find inspiration in hard to reach places and make something special out of ordinary fragments of kindling. What frustrates me is maybe a ridiculous idea of desire to achieve. My competitiveness and desire, whilst good for a writer to have, often leave me losing faith with myself temporarily and wanting constant success. Success is something I’ve attained, and whilst I tell myself it has dwindled deliberately as I take my time with projects and leave myself without stress, it can’t be denied I have achieved little in the last year.
So, as a man stands at the top of his conquered mountain he has options: Climb back down and start to climb another or sit on his pedestal and milk it for all it’s worth. I regularly find myself somewhere in between these two options and that in its essence is what is frustrating. I’m hoping readers can relate to this as I have reached this conclusion myself after a year or so going between the two ‘options’. Ideas come to me regularly and often I have faith in them, but shelf them. Sometimes this is to return to the ‘massive project’ when I have the discipline, time and fully-formulated plans and admitting this makes me embarrassed as I know I have all of these (perhaps the latter less so, but this develops as you work, right?). Perhaps the truth is that I simply don’t push myself to give these ideas a good go. Lets face it- if I have an idea that could change the face of literature for ever I wouldn’t just let it sit in the back of my mind for a couple of years would I?
It’s now almost 5 years since I got an idea for a novel, one I went with strongly and created fragments of for a successful University portfolio only to ‘shelf’ as I developed my talents for poetry and short fiction. Once Tears From Abaddon was released I had my study walls covered in post-its as fragments, ideas and notes for the novel- keenly anticipating its completion and the next success in my life. A few months down the line and I hadn’t bothered making a go of it but not to worry my idea developed into something spectacular and I spent days planning something I knew could be special. That was last New Year. Don’t get me wrong, over the last year I’ve continued to develop the idea further (I now feel it really really really has legs!!) and discuss it with intention to carry it out, but the point remains I haven’t. And that won’t do.
Blueprints is coming along nicely because I did the right thing in allowing myself pressure-less time to carry out the project but failed to realise I need to be putting stuff (mainly myself) out there all of the time. I plan to change that in 2015 and not be content letting my reputation go before me. It’s time for the prince to become king or stop bothering.
If you’ve made it this far congratulations!! Sorry to have taken so much of your time but I hope you can take away a message. We as writers, or in fact we as human beings in any career, must keep finding challenges to conquer. It’s about what you did lately whilst you’re alive and I want everyone to keep pushing themselves to be the best, otherwise someone will take your place. Get out there today and find a new chapter to write, a new beginning to commence and a new mountain to climb.
Posted by thejordbaker on February 2, 2015
When I look back over my 2014 I simply can’t believe how much my life has developed. Writing aside, I am in a fantastic place, happy as ever and looking forward to my future. As for the writing I wouldn’t say I’ve moved as many steps forward as I did in 2013, however am building the solid foundations of Blueprints by the Sea as well as pottering on and experimenting with other projects. In the end, that’s what I wanted for myself following Tears From Abaddon and I’ve enjoyed having the shackles off my writing life. As we enter next year there could be some huge developments, so stay tuned for those. In the mean time I just wanted to take the opportunity to wish everyone happy holidays and all the best going into the New Year, as well as thank you all for your support, reading and following of this blog and my writing in general. I only wish I could share more with you all.
But for now I’ll leave you with ‘Just Promise Tonight’ and wish you all the best.
Just Promise Tonight
Rest on me as I’m enchanted
by that look in your eyes,
captivating and alive
with the beauty
of a clear oceanic sunrise
and a divine aurora of me.
Take me as your haven
and I’ll take your hand,
for no one could appreciate your love
the way I can.
For it I’ll carry the world, hold it over head
and for our times throw it far away
so you can live, just be.
Just promise tonight you’ll dream of me.
Should dreams be scarce, here I am,
come close and into peace with me,
under the stars, feel their glow
and of my love please understand.
I’ll tell you again, until you know
just promise tonight you won’t let go.
Posted by thejordbaker on December 23, 2014
Gleams fall through the window
dwindling, they come.
Summer nights are longer
but the times have gone.
Is there a difference between
sun rise and set?
The darker days could write chapters
living in the shadows of nominal
But my eyes are wide
they’re open and deep.
In an arms race for power
the future sleeps.
Until reparations are paid
pull me down.
Through all the ephemeral
elations we made
it pulls us down.
As the gleams fade out
I won’t speak aloud.
Lost somewhere amongst
the stars I drift
tumbling in silence in some sort
of direction I list.
It pulls me down.
Onto the cobbled pavement
where once I shared a kiss
pull me down.
Posted by thejordbaker on December 19, 2014
Where has the time gone?
Once we had many hours ahead
down by the quay, where the river
meets the sea, its present morning
blue has faded into the red.
How will the people speak
should technology fail?
Would it be like a reflection
without a mirror should present
words be said?
It is moving with the seasons-
where once we walked through
guards of green has now
faded into the red.
Quickly it has come, and finely,
subtly just as needle swallows thread.
Beyond your eyes we have wandered,
followed, aged and fled.
Slowly we are moving,
fading into the red.
Posted by thejordbaker on November 18, 2014
Sometimes I dream aloud and fall awake
and as the world revolves won’t always feel it turn.
Sometimes I un-write words and comfort pain,
afraid of flames but destined to burn.
Go ask your God what he’s doing today
whilst he watches the un and reality of life.
Try to feign interest in words he says
and let me know if Heaven’s always bright.
Go ask your God what he’s thinking today
whilst he listens through the urban vaults.
Try to understand why He feels His way
and let me know when Contrition starts.
Ask if when blissful memories are tainted,
discarded into surplus on papered streets
shall we gather by oceans with sinners and quitters
and throw our ghosts into the sea?
Would this achieve release should we repave
over the world’s dysfunctions as it circles
around the all-lasting and sought-after place,
away from that of haunted and hellions?
Until we know we shall do as before,
discarding all virtue like our papered streets
as the tides of our lives tear into the shores
and we throw our ghosts in the sea.
Jordan Baker 2014
Blueprints by the Sea
Posted by thejordbaker on November 10, 2014
And the rain begins to fall.
Tidal rays and violet veil,
comes forth an inland call
and a semblance on the blue.
A pattered baptism as the dark builds
over lanterns of pallid hues
forming at my footsteps where
hardships and repose thrive.
I speak to the night in broken verse
until there is nothing left to say
and we’ve unwritten the words.
Howling with the haunters,
regaling with the haunted souls
flickering into substance
and drifting through the grave yard stones.
Posted by thejordbaker on September 24, 2014
I’d say that, although there is so much writing to be done, the ‘blueprints’ of Blueprints by the Sea are formulating nicely with chapters, titles and piece direction coming together and promises of a successful campaign on the horizon.
I’ll make it my goal to post as many extracts and info as I can on here, but in the mean time good evening and God bless, all.
Posted by thejordbaker on August 23, 2014
Isn’t it fantastic when the words just flow onto a page? I’ve been attempting to get myself full of busy recently as my plans for book #3 come together and that of course means a fuck load of writing!!
I find myself wondering around the world with ideas flowing in my brain that I just can’t wait to get down onto a page. It always bugs me when I transfer that idea or few lines onto a page and then pause and think ‘awesome.. now what?’. I must have the capacity for 50 pieces of poetry at the moment, and around 3 lines for most of them. The question then, is how on earth do I turn 3 lines into 20 at the click of my fingers? Let’s face it, it’s hard to write on cue (or at least I find that hard to do anyway) and it’s hard to create a masterpiece out of nothing. I have certain pieces in the making for Blueprints that I’m really excited about as well as re-writes which ‘on paper’ seem an easy thing to do.. although once on paper it turns out it’s not. I love irony, I believe I’ve mentioned that before. I genuinely believe I have some notes here that can transform into an epic poem or two, and yes, it is frustrating that I’ve sat for a couple of hours and made no progress on them but I know not to worry.
Weirdly enough, every now and then I sit down and start writing something completely new and within one draft and 15 minutes I’ve got myself a decent little piece of writing. I look at that as a good thing though, as those little tit bits of poetry are going to form the meat on the bones of my book and they can come from nowhere. If I did that every day I’d have a lot of my book done in a few weeks, no problem.
Just remember, when you’re struggling, anything is better than nothing. If you get three lines of your project done today you’re 3 lines closer to completion, take it easy and write what comes naturally to you- not what you think you have to write as you won’t be happy with it. Even a few notes in a note book could be enough work for one day. The rest will come, trust me- I’ve always gotten away with it. One day those few scribbles will turn into something amazing.
Posted by thejordbaker on July 29, 2014
Her hands were built to take dominion over all
to hide eyes glazed in the fiery depths she saw.
With masks held on in clever ways they’re made
spilling over, the guests of the claret masquerade.
Behind her mask she’ll take dominion over all
in a new religion born out of withering souls.
A dance of departed from the visitors she slays
enraptured forces in a claret masquerade.
In her honour they’ll take dominion over all
dancing and haunting at their prophet’s call.
With fractured faces and masks of sanguine shade
they’ll take your substance to the claret masquerade.
Posted by thejordbaker on July 29, 2014
I’ll take my finger to the grains
and draw blueprints by the sea.
It may take months but I’ll build
us our mansion out of silt.
It may be cold in the winter
but I’ll hold you tautly all night
with my chest as your pillow
and your heart as my script
I’ll write you poems about angels
with words about love.
And if the world floods over
you’re the break in my waves.
And if once more abating
I’ll land on your shoulder.
As time transpires I’m falling awake.
Posted by thejordbaker on July 22, 2014